There was a time in my life when running was important to me. I was never a distance runner, endurance is not my strong suit, but for a time I was fast. I felt quick, competitive and strong when I was on the track. I didn't win a ton of races, but I ran them the best that I could. I improved my personal best running against those who were better than me. I typically competed in the 100, 200 meter dashes, and also ran relays. Occasionally I'd be put in to run the 400 which was tough for me. Some sprinters I ran with also competed in the hurdles. This was something I could never make myself do, a few times I attempted running full speed at a hurdle and instead of preparing and jumping, I would panic and slow down. I couldn't picture my short legs carrying me over that wooden obstacle before me, all I envisioned was getting tangled midair and crashing onto my face. Some girls made it look easy, they gracefully cleared each hurdle with room to spare and landed full tilt ready to approach the next one and the one after that. I'm sure by their confident strides, they weren't picturing themselves landing in a bloody embarrassing heap like I did, they knew they'd get over each hurdle.
When we first started this experience of adoption I had prepared myself for the long run. We'd have waiting to do. And since we are adopting an older child that wait time is cut short, still I've been told that a year is quick for international adoption. As I mentioned, sprinting is my forte, and even metaphorically I can get through just about any challenge with a decent amount of patience as long as I can see the finish line. Heeding the warnings that this adoption would be a "marathon" due to the time it takes to add a child to your family when everything has to be on paper, paid for and approved by two separate governments, I have been trying to mentally prepare myself to wait.
There is not just waiting though. There is certainly some hurrying involved as well. Like when it's Veteran's Day and our documents have to be notarized and I rush them into a tax prep law office since all the banks are closed. We hurry when there's signatures needed, training to sign up for, and when we're rushing to respond to each agency to make every second count so Rose doesn't have to wait in vain.
A year may be a long time to wait, but I don't agree that this experience is like a marathon. Yes, we're still near the beginning, but I'm not digging down deep to keep going or maintain a winning pace. We are still waiting on our home study to be finalized ( we are approved though, yay!! ). But until we pass that barrier, there is nothing we can do to move this forward. Like the home study approval, we are going to face numerous obstacles in adoption. It's a process with steps we still aren't 100% clear on, but we can see the finish line. We have to keep pushing on and before the next challenge comes we will undoubtedly have to work our hardest to clear it. Yes, this process takes courage, just like running hurdles. But more importantly, adoption takes faith, because before you can make yourself leap you have to trust God that He will help you land so you're not worried the entire time about falling on your face :)
Pam
