Tonight I was reading Emerson a Bible story before bed and it told about the parable of Jesus leaving the 99 sheep to search for the one that was lost. I had heard this story before, but of course, now everything takes on a new perspective since we are adopting. There's not a doubt in my mind that God has called us to do adopt. And of course the ultimate goal in my life is to become more like Christ, but I struggle. I struggle when I wonder what is going to happen to these other 99 "sheep" that I care for as we go to find the lost one.
Just like any other family, we have bills to pay, work to attend to, medical needs, children to raise. There are many other things on my plate, and to be honest with you, lately it's seemed pretty darn full. Many of you know that Scott travels for work. When he's out of town, I carry all of the responsibilities of looking after the kids and taking care of the house. And the travel this year has been intense. He's gone a lot. The adoption has added another layer to that with paperwork, home visits, and training hours. We're busy working to get Rose home, and prepare ourselves and our family to meet her. There are a ton of unknowns right now, and certainly more questions than answers. The paperwork comes in waves, and fortunately there's a lull, but occasionally we're drowning in it. I'm trying to learn to not fight the current, to float parallel to the shore, but it is against my planner nature. We have plans but cannot put them in stone while we wait for travel dates. And we have dreams but cannot get carried away, because oh so many doors must open and close before our daughter is home. Did I mention that we don't have the keys to some of those doors?!
We have things going on. Lots of things. And still our faith is calling us out to look for one more. Not just one more thing to fill our time, or take care of. One that BELONGS with us. As we've walked this road with Christ, sometimes we stumble. We're going to realize how far we are from home and get scared. We'll undoubtedly be overwhelmed and under prepared no matter how much we try. That soft still voice is calling us to go on this journey. We are weak and in need of guidance, and He provides it without fail. This process has been difficult at times, and we're not even to the tough part yet! BUT, I know that Rose will be a gift to our family. We are aligned and in love with her in a way that I do not fully comprehend. I know now that orphans are the ones worth seeking. Rose is our one. I'm learning that we need faith to reach her, and also faith to trust God to take care of the other sheep in our lives. Everything He has given me is part of His plan. There is depth, joy, vulnerability, grace and richness I am completely undeserving of in my 99. My heart is filled with gratitude for the blessing this lesson has been to me and I cannot wait to rejoice with the one more to come.
